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  • mottobunnie

Faith, and grieving the living.

For a long time I have struggled with my faith. I always questioned religion and faith at a young age. As I went through life and experienced a multitude of traumatic events, I questioned it even more. Watching my daughter go through years of abuse was definitely my breaking point between faith and myself. No matter how much I doubted, I stayed true to my beliefs and upbringing. I felt failed by God yet again. I could not understand how a fair and loving God could allow my daughter to be abused at all, but even worse for so long. I watched my daughter beg and plead for help while she withered away. Slowly, her true innocence and life broke apart into a million pieces. The tragic experiences she went through changed her permanently. She was robbed of living a carefree childhood. She was robbed of the ability to live to her full potential. She will never be the same, I struggle with wondering who she would be now if none of this happened. I wonder how different her life would have been if she would have gotten justice and been saved when she asked. For years now I have worked of helping a broken child heal because of evil people. Not just the abusers, but those that stood around and watched. Those that looked the other way, and those that ignored when a helpless child was losing herself and her life. While deep inside me I believe that ther

e is something greater than me. I don't know how to put that belief and trust in a God that I feel not only betrayed me, but most importantly betrayed my daughter.

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