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  • mottobunnie

From Broken Bunnie to Motto Bunnie

Updated: May 17, 2022

In a quick moment, I went from achieving a lifelong dream to spiraling out of control. It only took a couple of traumatic events to set this whirlwind off. The interesting thing is that I didn’t realize at the moment that I was experiencing traumatic life-changing events. I’ve gone my entire life fighting and surviving. So, for me, this wasn’t any different. It was the way I lived life. I didn’t realize how it would soon catch up to me. I went through consecutive life-altering events that created chaos in my mind, body, and soul. It wasn’t that long ago that I realized that growing up, I survived plenty of trauma. The trauma I went through as an adult is really what defined how my future would turn out. It started with my fight to join the Military. My mother was a single Mexican parent that hated the idea of the Military. I graduated at 17, and she refused to sign my contract. So I did as she asked and I tried Community College, and even Cosmetology school. Neither seemed to be the right fit for me so I decided to join behind my mother's back. I mean I was a grown woman, right?! Wrong! Not in her eyes. If any of you know how a Mexican (Hispanic) household works, you know that it’s run ironically like the Military. Parents dictate orders no matter how old you are, and you’re expected to follow them. The thing is that with women it’s even more difficult. You’re expected to follow all the rules and also not leave the house until you’re married in a white dress along with all the other expectations your parents might have for you. My rebellious ass did the opposite. I tried to follow the “rules” but the Marine Corps was calling me. When my mother found out, hell literally broke loose at home, but I didn’t care. I wanted to do what I believed would make me happy Who knew that breaking that boundary would somehow be the beginning of my downfall? I’ll never forget the day I left to boot camp, it was such a freeing feeling. A feeling that, growing up I never thought I would feel. I was in ROTC in high school. And my Gunny was not only an inspiration for me but a father figure. I looked up to him so much, that he inspired me. The inspiration was not only because of him, but the support and belief he had in me. My father passed when I was seven, but even when he was around we didn’t have the greatest relationship. Gunny was like my father. He was my protector, teacher, mentor, and honestly, the father figure I’d been needing all my life.

The Marine Corps was calling my name for many reasons. And I am so glad I listened. Yes, terrible things happened, but so did good ones. Stepping on those yellow footsteps changed my life forever, and I don’t regret it a day in my life. Although my military career was very short-lived, and traumatic; it made me into the woman I am today. And for that I am grateful. All the experiences that I've gone through whether good or bad, led me to have to really dig deep and prove my strength and resilience to myself. It’s incredible how much power you find within yourself until you have no choice but to dig deep and find it. There is so much to tell, from my upbringing as a child to my growth into the woman I am now. Everything we experience molds us into who we are. We are not what happened to us, but we are what we become of it. I have experienced loss, of family, friends, relationships, jobs, and of myself. I have broken and have been rebuilt.

The military is supposed to break you and remake you into this powerful being that defends their country and fights for the people, right? Right! That job was done, I accomplished so much in three months of boot camp that I never thought I could be capable of doing. I am a part of that few and proud. The Marines Corps is a culture and family that will always be embedded in me. Before the Marines I believed in myself, but what the Corps brought out of me and made of me is exactly why I wanted to join. The things I learned and accomplished was some hardcore sh*! Marines are man-made bad asses for sure. During that time things were fine, it wasn’t until after boot camp where the real breaking of my identity happened. I was injured and encountered racism, sexism, and even assault. This was all in a setting where I was already vulnerable as a new female service member, I became greatly disadvantaged. The important aspect that should be taken from this story is that , my setting is where I was supposed to be protected and nurtured by my fellow brothers and sisters. Instead, I was attacked in every sense of the word. It is in those moments that I began to fall apart, I fell apart in a place that looked the other way every time I was in need. The ending of my short-lived military career was the cherry on top of my already devastated and broken soul. It is then that I began to spiral and made decisions that further impacted my life in a negative manner. It’s crazy how in moments like that you don’t see how out of control you are. And that is what happened to me. From MST to being discharged without reason or benefits, and going home injured mentally and physically. I didn’t know what to do or how to find my way. To be honest I didn’t stand a chance. My solution was jumping into a relationship that soon enough would completely destroy me. Only for so long though, because here I am. Alive, kicking ass in life, and ready to tell my story.

My intention along with my dream is to help those in similar situations to get past what may seem like the end of a road. I hope to connect with you and inspire you somehow. Support you even, through this screen or even on a more personal level. As I overcame my struggles I met others in similar situations, and in conversation, we found comfort in each other. I don’t wish any of my experiences on anyone, but it’s weirdly comforting to know you’re not the only one. When you’re in it, you wonder “why me?”; but it’s not only you or me. There are so many women out there going through and fighting through the same or similar situations. So, buckle up y’all, ‘cus if you think I won’t understand? Odds are that I might be the one that understands you the best, get ready to hear about Military, MST, Sexism, Marriage, Military Marriage, Military spouse life, Finances, Education, Cheating, Domestic Violence, Divorce, Custody, Child abuse, re-marriage, Parenting, blended families, disabilities, Injuries, health, and mental health battles. Buckle up Ladies, I’m here for all of us. For me, because something greater must come from all this suffering, and for you because I got you. This is a safe place for you to connect with not only me but other ladies in this community. We’re Motto Bunnies, because were motivated and always in action. Even when we're down we find the motivation to fight and keep going. We wear all the hats that are needed of us. So join me, ride with me through the recap and the emotional train wreck that WAS my life. There’s light on the other side. I promise. You are not alone; you matter and if you think no one else cares. Remember Motto Bunnie does, join us and help me help you. Help others help themselves, remember sometimes we just need ideas and support to make our moves. Let’s make moves into a better space and into a better life together. I’m here to guide you with my experiences and the things that helped me survive and become a success. Life is unpredictable, we can’t prepare for everything, but we can sure as hell support each other. Join the Motto Bunnie family. Let’s empower each other. This is about women helping women. Remember Movement is a privilege. No matter how stuck you might feel, there’s always space to move forward. Learn to Make Motto Moves. I’ll guide you. Let me show you how I went from a Broken Bunnie to Motto Bunnie.

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